The NOEL Method

Skin-to-skin is everything

Baby in just a diaper, placed on your bare chest (frontal body contact, tummy on your chest). This is the single most powerful thing you can do.

What it does (research-backed):

• Releases oxytocin (love hormone) in both of you → calmness, bonding, stress reduction
• Reduces risk of postpartum depression (non-pharmacological intervention)
• Regulates baby's temperature, heart rate, breathing, blood sugar
• Promotes breastfeeding and milk production
• Increases dopamine production
• Benefits last all the way into middle childhood
• If baby gets a chest cold or congestion, skin-to-skin is therapeutic
• Powerful for NICU babies who had separation

Practical tips:

• Button-down pajamas and robes make access easy with one hand
• Don't be trying to put yourself together every day ~ stay easily accessible
• Skin is the largest organ on the body. Two living organs touching and regulating each other

Remove barriers to bonding

Babies connect through the senses. You bond easier and quicker by removing barriers:

• Take off baby's hat (hospital puts these on automatically ~ smelling baby's head increases dopamine and oxytocin)
• Skip the mittens (babies need to feel with their hands from day one)
• Minimize heavy fragrance (newborns are so sensitive, strong scents can make them withdraw from you)
• Avoid plastic in the mouth (pacifiers, nipple shields ~ creates different sensation)
• Unswaddle (baby needs to move, feel, and use their hands to find you)

Your baby knows you by: your scent, your voice (recognized from ~24 weeks in the womb), your heartbeat, your skin. When baby cries with someone else, that's normal ~ they know you = survival.

Touch to bond: Baby massage

Simple gentle strokes from head to toe. No massage training needed.

How to do it:

• Lay baby down on a surface where you can see each other
• Start at the head and gently work your way down the body
• Observe ~ make sure baby is content, make eye contact
• You're giving baby a "map" of their body ~ they're feeling for the first time outside the womb
• Great wake-window activity
• Can also help decrease jaundice and improve diaper frequency

Dad's role in the early weeks

Baby will primarily want mom for the first 6-8 weeks. This is completely normal. Not a rejection of dad.

• Your baby was connected to you for 9 months ~ after about 2 weeks you might think "enough" but baby is still adjusting to a scary new world
• Baby knows mom = survival. Mom is safety, home, bed, food, nourishment, comfort
• Set expectations low for yourself AND for dad ~ things go smoother
• "Spoon and fork" ~ different roles, both nourishing. A fork does something different than a spoon but both help you eat
• Present dad with a happy, calm baby to help them bond. Get baby to a good state first, then hand off
• Dad's best role right now: support MOM (meals, house, emotional support)
• Don't try to split every caregiving task 50/50 ~ "I did this, now you do that" is toxic in this early phase and creates a vicious cycle
• Dad can do chest-to-chest tummy time when baby is content
• Your man can't read your mind. You will mentally criticize how he does things. He feels that.
• There will be PLENTY of time down the road where dad's role comes more into play

Birth affects bonding

Research findings on birth experience:

• Unplanned c-section and instrumental vaginal delivery linked to more negative birth experiences and increased risk of postpartum mental health problems
• Oxytocin released during labor regulates maternal stress and pain, stimulates joy and happiness
• Stressful birth = less oxytocin = harder bonding initially
• This is valid. You're not crazy for feeling anxious after a stressful birth
• Solution: Skin-to-skin is the #1 repair tool. Start immediately, do it often

Primitive reflexes build the brain

The startle (Moro), rooting, stepping, and grasping reflexes are the foundation of ALL later development. They live in the brain stem and fire automatically without thinking.

• Every time your baby startles, a NEW neural connection is made. It's a building block.
• The more the startle fires freely, the quicker baby becomes more coordinated, less sensitive, and easier to deal with
• Suppressing the startle (via swaddling) keeps baby MORE sensitive LONGER
• Unintegrated reflexes can lead to: sensory issues, hyperactivity, learning difficulties (dyslexia, handwriting problems), delayed milestones, picky eating, behavioral problems

The brain ladder: reflexes → everything

Think of brain development as a ladder. Each rung must be built to reach the next:

1. Reflexes (brain stem) → startle, rooting, stepping, grasping
2. Sensory processing → touch, smell, vision, hearing, movement
3. Reflex maturity → "I don't need these anymore, I have higher level thinking"
4. Controlled movement → reaching, crawling
5. Coordination & balance
6. Attention & focus
7. Academic learning & reasoning

If you skip or suppress the bottom rungs, everything above wobbles. This is why they saw so many delayed toddlers in their therapy clinic.

The swaddling problem (in detail)

Look at any promotion for a swaddle. It will use words like "suppress," "stop," "calm" a reflex. Now you know those reflexes are brain-building.

• "Calm" sounds like you're doing the right thing, but you're actually blocking brain growth
• In the womb, baby had FULL hand movement (practiced sucking on hands, moved freely in water)
• Swaddle ≠ womb. The womb was a watery world of easy movement, not restriction
• It takes adults 20 days to form a habit. Babies: probably 3 days or less to create a brain structure
• Swaddled babies stay in fight-or-flight sensitive mode longer
• Unswaddled babies become LESS sensitive over time because their nervous system adjusts

Where babies move best: THE FLOOR

Natural movement happens on the floor on a soft surface. That's it.

• When baby is on their back on the floor, they move their head side to side, which rolls across the back of the skull and shapes the head round
• Flat head (plagiocephaly) comes from two things: (1) extended time on back in containers/swaddled at night, and (2) containers at a 45° angle pressing the back of the skull
• It can get so bad baby ends up in a helmet 24 hours/day for months
• Floor ≠ flat head. Container + car seat = flat head risk
• Car seat: take baby OUT of the car seat when you arrive. Don't leave them in it for convenience

What you'll see on the floor:

When you can't avoid a container

Some days you'll run errands. Baby might sit in a swing at grandma's house. Don't freak out.

• Think of it as: "That was 20 minutes of not getting movement"
• Counterbalance: next wake window, go to the floor
• It's about balance, not perfection
• No guilt ~ just awareness and intentional counterbalancing

Why it matters so much

• More nerves on the front of baby's body than the back. There is no developmental benefit from laying on the back ~ it doesn't progress development forward
• The belly-down position influences EVERYTHING: head control, arm strength, core strength, rolling, crawling, walking
• You cannot overdo it as long as baby is content
• All the sensation the brain gets comes through the FRONT of the body, not the back

The natural sequence: Belly down → hands pushing up (strengthens shoulders, neck) → trying to look around (extensor muscles in back) → stepping reflex pushes them forward → crawling. None of this happens on the back in a container.

How to do tummy time (detailed)

Start on your chest (this counts!)

• Most mothers instinctively do this without being told
• Anytime baby is on the front of their body = tummy time benefits
• If baby falls asleep on your chest, they're STILL getting sensory stimulation through the front of their body
• Add skin-to-skin for bonus points

Progress to the floor

• Stay extremely close (baby sees only ~12 inches). Get eye-level with them
• Talk to them and talk through what you're doing
• Support their feet so they can push (activates stepping reflex = newborn crawl)
• Take off socks and hat for full sensory input. Bare toes on the surface matters
• Remove pants if warm enough ~ bare legs benefit from floor sensation
• Umbilical cord stump is NOT a reason to wait. During the breast crawl, baby is still attached by the cord and crawls to the breast. After it's severed, tummy time is fine
• Tip: Cord care pro powder (blend of ancient herbs) helps the stump dry and fall off faster

Side-lying as a transition

• When introducing floor time, try side-lying first so baby can SEE the floor arriving in their visual field
• This avoids the sensation of falling backward onto their back
• Pause in side-lying if they need a moment before rolling to tummy

Supporting the newborn crawl

• On tummy, baby activates the stepping reflex ~ they push through their toes
• Provide hand support to their feet ~ not the same as a swaddle because your hands respond dynamically
• Days-old babies can inch forward with foot support. It's incredible
• This forward motion is critical for coming milestones of crawling and walking

Durations & expectations

• Even 30 seconds counts. Even 5 seconds. No duration requirements
• Some days: 10 minutes of happy tummy time. Other days: a holding day all day. Both are fine
• Tummy time is always baby-led. Never push through fussing
• Don't time it. Watch your baby, not the clock
• After tummy time, baby will often be ready to eat or sleep ~ it's physically demanding for them
• You NEVER have to leave baby on the floor if they fuss. Pick them up, try again next wake window

If baby "hates" tummy time

This is the #1 question they get. Usually means not enough early exposure. Babies who spent lots of time in seats and swings are still fussy about tummy time at 5-7 months because they never got used to the front of their body.

• Start with chest time (easiest, most comfortable)
• Side-lying is a good transition position
• Go to the floor WITH your baby ~ they learn to love the floor when you're there too
• Don't push through fussing. Just try again next wake window
• Starting early and often = baby who LOVES tummy time. This is what NOEL babies experience

Head shape protection

Tummy time is the #1 prevention for plagiocephaly (flat head).

• Flat head comes from too much time on the back in containers at an angle
• On the floor, baby moves head side to side naturally, rounding the skull
• Signs of too much back time: hair loss across the back of the head from rubbing in one spot
• Comparison from their clinic: a baby 2 months OLDER than Knox (Jenny's NOEL baby) had weaker head control, hair loss on back of head, head shape starting to ledge, and couldn't coordinate as well ~ all because less tummy time and more containers

Outside tummy time

Most NOEL moms report outside tummy time is a game changer for their motherhood.

• Take a blanket or towel outside. That's it.
• Babies have an almost immediate behavior change outdoors
• Sunlight helps set circadian rhythms (day/night sleep patterns)
• Sunlight reduces bilirubin (jaundice) ~ natural treatment
• Nature touches ALL senses at once ~ soothes the nervous system
• Resets fussy babies AND overwhelmed moms
• Babies can go outside from day one. You don't have to wait
• Great for tummy time on grass (lay a waterproof blanket), showing colors of leaves, feeling the breeze
• Outdoor blankets that are waterproof: linked in their product guide

What tummy time looks like at 12 weeks

• Head all the way back over the shoulders (no more bobbing)
• Baby can look up to the horizon
• Elbows coming underneath for support
• If elbows aren't there yet, give a little support at the elbows
• Inchworm crawl with forward motion when feet are supported
• Army crawl forward with arms and legs, tummy touching ground
• You'll see a whole other baby emerge ~ more human, less newborn fussiness

Dad & tummy time

Great way for dad to be involved early on:

• Chest-to-chest tummy time on dad
• Getting on the floor with baby and supporting feet
• Baby may fuss sooner with dad (still forming bond) ~ that's okay
• This is a practical way for you to take a 1-5 minute break (shower, change clothes, breathe)

The breast crawl

A natural behavior: when a newborn is placed on the mother's abdomen or chest after birth, they instinctively crawl to the breast and self-latch. This activates primitive reflexes (stepping reflex moves them upward).

The 9 stages of the breast crawl:

1. Birth cry
2. Baby relaxes
3. Baby wakes/awakening
4. Activity (feet moving, head flopping)
5. Rest period
6. Crawling up the chest
7. Head bobbing around the breast
8. Suckling begins
9. Nursing established

Protect the "3 Golden Hours" after birth:

Dr. Thompson says the breast crawl can occur across a span of 3 hours (hospitals typically give you 1 hour). This is the time to protect because interventions easily disrupt the hormonal process.

• Ask for uninterrupted skin-to-skin
• Delay baby's bath and all procedures
• Remove hat, unswaddle the baby
• Let baby find the breast themselves ~ no interference

Benefits of the 3 golden hours:

• Regulation: skin-to-skin regulates heart rate, breathing, blood sugar
• Stress reduction: for both mother and baby
• Breastfeeding: easier latch, more milk production
• Temperature: keeps baby warm
• Jaundice: breastfeeding helps decrease bilirubin
• Bonding hormones: oxytocin release from skin-to-skin

How labor drugs affect breastfeeding

Dr. Thompson's finding: Intrapartum exposure to fentanyl (narcotic/opioid) and synthetic oxytocin (Pitocin) is associated with altered newborn behavior including suckling during the first hour after birth.

• Baby may be profoundly asleep and unable to breastfeed because they're detoxing from drugs administered during labor
• Nurses may say "that's normal" but it's not natural ~ it's drug-related
• If you had an epidural and baby won't wake to feed, this could be why
• Be patient. It's not your baby's fault or yours. Give extra skin-to-skin time

Thompson Method positioning (the correct way)

Dr. Robin Thompson has studied breastfeeding for over 2 decades and found that painfulness comes from incorrect positioning taught in hospitals.

The key principles:

1. Ditch ALL breastfeeding pillows (Boppy, etc.) ~ they position baby too high above the nipple
2. Elbows DOWN at your sides. Shoulders relaxed and down. No tension climbing upward
3. Baby in the crook of your elbow (not up on the bicep) ~ completely side-lying, spine facing out
4. Belly-to-belly: baby's belly button touching your belly button
5. DON'T lock hand behind baby's head/neck ~ relax your arm on their back. They need free head movement to latch themselves
6. Baby must be LEVEL. Not tilted up, not to the side. Level prevents nipple pinching
7. All 4 points of face touching: chin, both cheeks, AND nose all on the breast
8. Center lips over the nipple and let them come to you

Side-lying position:

• Side-lying is the easiest, especially postpartum and recovering from birth
• Recommended: start with side-lying until breastfeeding is no longer painful
• Practice latching many times in side-lying until baby gets it down
• Very natural to lay down with baby and roll side to side

Troubleshooting signs:

• Clicking sound = baby is NOT in the best position. Adjust so nose touches breast
• Pain = likely positioning issue, not a baby problem
• Check: is baby tilted? Compare left vs right baby photos ~ fully facing (cheeks, lips, nose all touching) vs. slightly tilted makes a huge difference

Common techniques that CAUSE problems

Cross-cradle hold (most commonly taught in hospitals)

"Nipple trauma was associated with commonly taught techniques that involve the cross-cradle hold and maneuvers of the breast, nipple, and baby that resulted in nipple misalignment." Hand locked behind neck → no free head movement → baby pinches nipple upward → blisters, bleeding, cracked nipples. Avoid.

Football hold

Very unnatural position. Avoid.

Breastfeeding pillows (Boppy, layered pillows)

Baby comes up WAY too far above the nipple. Can contribute to pain and supply issues. Reconsider altogether.

Nipple shields

• One study: 47% higher risk of stopping exclusive breastfeeding within 6 months
• Another study: threefold increased risk of stopping exclusive breastfeeding early
• Creates a different sensation, confuses the brain imprint for latching
• You CAN transition away from them and get back on track

Pumping too early

• A newborn's stomach on day 1 is the size of a cherry (or blueberry for smaller babies)
• If you pump and see just a few drops, it creates stress about supply, but that's all baby needs
• The ONLY way for your body to know how much baby needs is if you bring baby to your body
• Pumping = less skin-to-skin, less practice for baby, more contraptions, less oxytocin

Pacifiers

Different suck pattern from breastfeeding. Can confuse baby's latch. Contributing to early nipple pain from the start.

On tongue ties

This is becoming very prevalent on social media as a "quick fix."

What to know:

• AAP encourages non-surgical approaches first
• Jenny: all 3 of her babies have grade 4 tongue ties. Never an issue once she learned positioning
• Ask yourself: Have I given baby 6-12 weeks to establish breastfeeding? Am I only 2 weeks postpartum? Have I tried positioning changes first?
• Babies are rarely assessed for suck, swallow, and breathe (which improves with practice)
• If baby has been given pacifiers/bottles, the different suck pattern may be the real issue, not the tie
• A newborn's brain is hypersensitive. Even small pain is more intense than for an adult. The oral cavity is one of the most sensitive places on a human body
• Some "successful" breastfeeding post-revision may actually be the baby latching deeper for comfort after pain, not because the tie was the problem
• Article recommended: "Does tongue tie disempower mothers and damage babies?"

Gentle stretches for breastfeeding support

If baby had a stressful birth, tools (vacuum, forceps), or has been in a SNOO, they may have neck tightness (torticollis) that affects breastfeeding.

• Neck stretches: Gently help baby's head move all the way over the sides of their shoulders. Notice if one side is tighter
• "Guppy pose": Go very slow, allow baby's head to gently tilt back. Opens and relaxes all the connective tissue from tongue to toes
• The tissue under the tongue IS connected all the way to the toes. If tight, open the body up through stretching (not cutting)
• These stretches help with tension from: birth positioning, incorrect breastfeeding holds, sucking on different things

Burping technique (better than back-patting)

Instead of thumping baby on the back (which is jarring and doesn't move air effectively):

1. Rock baby gently forward and back (compresses the organs)
2. Then make small circles at the middle
3. This pushes air bubbles out much more effectively
4. Do this between offering each breast, or halfway through a bottle
5. Don't overfill ~ burp breaks prevent reflux

Breast milk is amazing

• Your breast milk is a perfect composition of nutrients individually designed for YOUR baby
• It changes throughout the day: nighttime milk contains hormones to help baby sleep; morning milk promotes alertness
• This only works through direct skin-to-skin contact between you and baby (your body reads baby's needs)
• The milk is always ready, always the right temperature, no bottles to wash, no warming up

Schedule-fed babies score lower

Schedule feeding = feeding every 3 hours by the clock (what hospitals often recommend). On-demand feeding = watching baby's cues and feeding when THEY tell you.

Why on-demand works: When baby communicates hunger → you respond correctly → a neuronal connection is made. Baby learns "I am heard. I am understood. I can rely on my environment." This builds intelligence and secure attachment.

Overly rigid schedules stress both parents and babies. Research: predictable caregiving (not rigid scheduling) lowers cortisol and promotes healthy brain development.

Reading hunger cues (in detail)

Crying is the LAST cue. Learn to read the earlier ones:

How to know baby is full:

• Closed fist = still hungry
• Open, relaxed hand = full
• If you pull baby off one breast and their hand is tight fist → offer more
• If hand has started to relax → good time to burp, then offer the other side if still fisting

Specific cues to watch for:

• Little foam/bubbles at mouth = early hunger cue
• Smacking lips = early hunger
• Lots of tongue movement = moderate hunger
• Head bobbing side to side = rooting/searching, definitely time to feed
• Voraciously sucking fingers = very hungry (as baby gets older, they'll also explore hands for non-hunger reasons ~ you'll learn the difference)

Overfilling (commonly misdiagnosed)

Your baby can be fed too much. This is more common with bottle feeding due to the constant drip of the nipple.

• At the breast: baby controls the flow (suck-swallow-breathe with pauses)
• With a bottle: constant drip regardless of baby's actions. Baby may develop nipple preference for bottle because less work
• Formula digests slower than breast milk → fills up faster
• Air bubbles in the bottle usually indicate baby is going too fast (NOT a sign they're taking it in well, despite what pediatricians may say)

Newborn stomach size on day 1: a cherry. For a smaller baby, maybe a blueberry. Don't stress about quantity.

Cup feeding (alternative you should know about)

Babies can lap milk from a small cup from day one, like a kitten. This is a perfectly accepted, studied, and taught alternative to bottle feeding.

When to consider it:

• Nipples need to heal
• Baby struggling with latch
• NICU baby who needs supplementing
• Want to avoid nipple confusion from bottles
• Want to avoid tongue tie revision

How to do it:

• Don't pour ~ let baby control the pace by lapping/sipping
• Stimulate rooting reflex by tapping lower lip with edge of cup
• Make sure baby's tongue can easily move along the cup's lower edge
• Gently tip cup so milk touches the edge. Keep the cup in position even during breaks
• Stop every half ounce to burp
• Watch for cues baby is done or overwhelmed. Stop if milk pours from lips (going too fast)
• Should take no more than 30 minutes
• Should be pleasant for both of you

Side-lying pace feeding (if bottle feeding)

If you're bottle feeding, this method mimics breastfeeding rhythm:

• Baby in upright side-lying position (like at the breast), not reclined
• Touch lower lip with nipple. Wait for a wide open mouth
• Get a nice deep latch (lips flanged out, cheek round)
• Don't start milk flow right away ~ let baby suck a bit first (like at the breast, milk doesn't come immediately)
• Watch for self-pacing: suck-suck-swallow, suck-suck-swallow, pause, breathe
• If baby is chugging too fast, the nipple is too fast ~ slow it down
• A 1oz bottle for a 5-6lb baby should take at least 8-10 minutes
• Don't force baby to finish. If eyes are drooping and they're not interested, they're done. Don't twist or jimmy the bottle

What crying actually is

Crying is your baby's ONLY way to communicate. It's survival. It's how the baby's brain learns the world is safe. Your urgent feeling when baby cries = your natural instincts working correctly (cortisol getting you two back together).

• Responding to crying builds brain connections
• Babies whose cries are answered cry LESS over time
• Institutionalized babies who are ignored become SILENT. They learn their signaling system is ineffective
• You cannot spoil a baby. This is a myth
• Babies have NO ability to cope independently. They rely on co-regulation (your calm nervous system calming theirs)
• Babies have no manipulative thoughts. They are purely in survival mode

The adult analogy: Think of it as your baby having a good cry on your shoulder, the same way an adult releases stress through tears. Counselors and therapists recognize the therapeutic value of crying. Babies are no different ~ just tiny versions of us.

Why some babies cry more

Research confirms:

• Babies whose mothers were extremely stressed during pregnancy or had a difficult delivery cried more and awakened more frequently at night
• Jenny's 3rd baby (born during high-stress period: post-COVID, selling clinic) cried significantly more than her 2nd NOEL baby
• Stressful birth, emergency c-section, instruments at delivery, separation in hospital → more crying
• This is NOT colic. It's stress release. It's valid

Peak crying periods

The NOEL approach to crying

• Hold baby IN YOUR ARMS when they cry. Not alone in a crib. Not in a product.
• You are the comfort. Not a machine, not a device. YOU are home
• Even when you can't stop the crying, your calm presence is enough
• When it feels like nothing you do is working (witching hour, cluster feeding), you are still the #1 comfort
• Sometimes your baby will cry even when all needs are met. That's stress release. It peaks around 6 weeks
• The amount of crying is also connected to how much movement baby got that day (more movement = less end-of-day fussing)

On pacifiers (the full picture)

Babies often reject pacifiers initially (spit them out). Then parents pick it up and put it back in, over and over. This is already a red flag.

Problems with pacifiers:

• Dependency: baby attaches to whatever comes to them every time. If that's the pacifier, they become very attached. Carrie's child was still attached at almost 4 years old and taking it away was traumatic
• Speech: blocks natural sound production. First thing therapists ask for speech delays: "Is there a pacifier?"
• Breastfeeding: different suck pattern confuses baby's latch
• Oral development: a piece of plastic that's unnatural in the mouth
• Practical stress: constantly finding it, cleaning it, replacing it, buying different designs, freaking out about leaving it somewhere
• Missed cues: blocks hunger cues like rooting and hand-sucking
• You will have to take it away eventually ~ another stressful transition

If you've been using one:

Take a deep breath. You can just stop. Let baby know "I'm here, you're going to be okay." Yes, this will be harder in the beginning. But you're setting baby up for expressive communication and good oral skills.

NICU babies:

If baby got used to a pacifier in the NICU, they can still transition off of it at home.

Babies don't have a sleep problem

They have a separation issue. Their brain stem is in survival mode. Being apart from you = danger signal.

• Baby slept fine in the womb. They know how to sleep. They just can't be separated from you yet
• The lower brain (brain stem) is all that's functioning. It automatically alerts baby when there is separation from mother
• Our nervous system adapted over thousands of years when danger was around every corner (predators, threats). Your baby's brain still reacts like there are saber-tooth tigers
• Higher-level thinking ("there's no danger") isn't available to newborns. That takes brain development that comes with time
• When baby is in contact with you → they sleep easiest and longest
• When you lay them down → they wake. This is survival, not a problem

We are CARRIER mammals

Three types of mammals:

• Nesters (rabbits, mice): leave young in a burrow while parents go out. Young stay in nest until developed
• Followers (deer, horses): young follow parents immediately after birth. Walk within hours
• Carriers (monkeys, kangaroos, HUMANS): parents physically carry their young. Young are less developed at birth

We are carriers living like nesters. Sleep training treats babies like they can be left in a burrow. But that's not who we are in the animal kingdom, and it's not how our babies respond.

Against swaddling for sleep

• In the womb, baby had full hand movement ~ practiced sucking on hands, moved efficiently in water. Swaddle ≠ womb
• Blocks natural movement and reflex development (startle = brain building)
• Creates dependency (takes babies ~3 days to form a habit)
• Keeps baby in fight-or-flight sensitive mode longer
• Unswaddled babies become LESS sensitive over time
• Misses feeding cues (can't see hand-to-mouth rooting)
• Social media creates major dependency on sleep products: "If this swaddle doesn't work, just buy five more" (that's what both Jenny and Carrie did with first babies)
• They had every swaddle, every product. They were still up. Still exhausted. Their babies didn't sleep better because of tighter wrapping

Against sleep training

Additional research findings:

• "You can no more train a baby to sleep all night than you can train them to walk or ride a bike"
• It is developmentally healthy for babies to repeatedly wake at night to breastfeed
• Overwhelming stress in infancy = toxic stress → interferes with gene expression for stress regulation in the developing brain
• Highly stressed baby → more stressed child → anxiety-riddled adult
• "Crying in babies is not a misbehavior to be trained. It's a physiological signal that something is wrong"
• Babies picked up when they cry → learn needs will be met → cry LESS over time
• Babies whose crying is ignored → learn signaling is ineffective → institutionalized babies rarely cry

Sleep products they warn against

All of these are designed to separate your baby from you by reducing their natural reactions:

• SNOO and smart bassinets (robotic soothing)
• Swaddles (any type ~ they used plenty, none helped)
• White noise machines (as a dependency)
• Pacifiers for sleep (spitting out 10-100x/night, you replace it each time, blocking feeding cues)
• Shush-pat products

All of this = money, clutter, stress about leaving the house, can't stay at hotel or grandma's, freaking out about routines. You have everything you need. It's you.

What they recommend for sleep

Bedside bassinet or sidecar crib

• Comes directly up to your bed, within arm's reach
• Look for flushness ~ even a simple lip of having to get in/out of bed leaves you more exhausted
• Look for adjustable height to match your mattress
• Same room for minimum 6-12 months (reduces SIDS risk)
• Skip the giant nursery crib. You won't use it (it'll become a laundry hamper)

Co-sleeping (biologically normal)

• Anthropologists observe that ALL mammals, primates, and the majority of non-Western societies co-sleep
• Baby sleep is NOT a medical event
• The cuddle curl: biologically adaptive position mothers instinctively assume. Baby kicks off your legs, nurses, you cuddle, smell their head. Baby uses your body to develop while co-sleeping
• Your baby's temperature is regulated, night feeding happens naturally, you get more rest
• It is NOT child abuse, neglect, or irresponsible

The key question:

"At some point, you WILL fall asleep with your baby, either by accident or on purpose. Do you want it to be an accident (like falling asleep in a recliner, which IS unsafe) or with confidence (prepared safe co-sleeping)?"

Jenny fell asleep with her first baby in a recliner by accident (unsafe). With babies 2 and 3, co-sleeping was intentional and life-changing.

The startle during sleep

When baby startles during sleep, their brain is deciding: "Am I safe or is this life or death?" Then they go right back to sleep. This is brain growth happening in real time.

• Every startle = a new connection = one more rung on the brain ladder
• The more they startle freely, the LESS sensitive they become
• Wrapping them to suppress the startle keeps them in that sensitive mode
• You want a baby who can "sleep like a rock" anywhere ~ that comes from desensitizing, not from products

What is a "container"?

Anything that keeps your baby buckled and on their back. Typically used for entertainment or to set baby down. This is the biggest mistake ~ thinking awake baby needs to be entertained in a device.

• Reclined seats, infant swings, Mama Roos, bouncers, exersaucers, jumpers
• Static input to the BACK of the body only (no front-of-body sensation)
• Can change head shape (skull is soft, 45° angle presses one area)
• Baby kicks and jabs looking for boundaries but gets none
• If baby needs a buckle to stay in the position, that's a red flag ~ they don't have the muscular control for it
• The difference: when YOU hold baby upright, you respond dynamically. A seat is static and doesn't adjust

Floor mats (best long-term investment)

Makes floor time and tummy time easier. Having a mat ready to go inspires you to get down to the floor more. You'll use it daily through toddlerhood.

Brands mentioned:

• Toki ~ they use the extra-large Toki. Wipeable, durable. Travel-friendly but heavier/bulkier for the large size
• Wander and Roam
• Rugable
• Gathre (waterproof mats for outdoor use)

Cost comparison: One good mat ≈ the cost of 3 baby seats (swing + recline seat + exersaucer). But the mat will be used for years.

Budget option: A soft blanket on the floor works perfectly. Baby quilt, thick towel, whatever you have. They changed diapers on the mat. It doesn't need to be fancy.

Tip: Set up a little floor station in every room you spend time in (bedroom, living room). Portable surfaces make it easy.

Infant lounger

• Better alternative to a recline seat
• Keeps baby horizontal (correct position) with a soft boundary
• Portable room to room, including bathroom
• No buckle needed because baby is already in the correct flat position
• Gives baby more opportunity to move naturally than a container
• Principle: baby must be horizontal before they come upright. If they can't sit without being buckled, they shouldn't be upright yet

Moses basket

• Gorgeous for photo shoots
• Portable for travel and day napping
• No setup, less space than a playpen
• Less is best ~ minimal, beautiful, functional

Baby wearing (the container alternative)

When baby won't go to the floor and you're thinking "I wish I had a swing to keep them busy" ~ the answer is baby wearing.

Types of carriers mentioned:

• Skin-to-skin carrier (like a tank top shirt): designed for newborns/preemies. No bra needed. Baby in a diaper, doing skin-to-skin while you move around. One little tie. Pricier but maximizes the method
• Soft structured carrier (buckles, goes over clothes): super soft material, easy to wear a lot. Knox seemed to prefer this one
• Lillebaby: rougher, more durable material. Better for older babies (chewing, snacks). Less wipeable but lasts longer

Three critical tips:

1. M-shaped hip position: knees above hip bones. After placing baby, put hand under feet and push upward so knees climb up. Check periodically ~ baby can slide downward over time
2. "Kiss height": baby's head should be high enough on your chest that you can kiss the top of their head
3. Build up back strength gradually: Most new moms have weak backs from slumping, scrolling, desk careers. Start with short wearing periods and increase. Criss-cross straps distribute weight better. If you're pregnant, maintain physical movement to prepare for the marathon of carrying baby

Car seat advice

Two types:

1. Click-in/out infant car seat (convenient but problematic): bar overhead, pull from car to shopping cart to restaurant. Baby never gets taken out. Missed movement time. Extra stimulation from being taken in/out IS developmental.
2. Stay-in-place infant-to-toddler car seat (what they recommend): lasts from newborn to 4+ years. Some rotate (recommended). More expensive upfront but you don't buy another one. Baby gets taken out every time = more handling, sensory input, movement

Avoid: Doona or car-seat-to-stroller systems

Long car ride → baby falls asleep → transferred to stroller → entire Target trip → back to car = baby NEVER got out. Hours without any movement, all on their back.

Rule: Be aware of how much total time baby spends in a car seat. Take them out when you arrive.

Environment: less is more

• Fewer toys = better focus and more movement. Baby in a cluttered environment fussed the minute they were laid down. In a minimal environment, they stared at spots on the mat and moved freely
• With the rise of attention deficit and hyperactivity diagnoses, building strong focus early matters
• Babies prefer real objects: spoons, cups, keys, your remote, your phone. They know primary-colored plastic toys are not the real thing and discard them as uninteresting
• Don't feel pressure to buy a million toys or put them on your registry
• Go outside daily ~ sunlight sets circadian rhythms. Nature provides endless sensory stimulation (sight, sound, touch, breeze, colors)

The Still Face Experiment (1970s)

A famous psychology study: mother and baby playing happily face-to-face. Mother is then instructed to go completely flat/still and not respond. The baby first tries to be CUTER to re-engage. When nothing works, the baby deteriorates, fusses, and cries because their bids are being ignored.

Your expression is ALWAYS informing your baby about how to interact. You are teaching them about their self-worth and how to engage with people. This is happening in real time from birth.

Serve and return: the dance

The "serve and return" interaction between you and baby:

• Baby gives you a facial expression → you give one back (or vice versa)
• This IS the language of being human. You are shaping it from day one
• Baby gives a cue → you respond → another neuronal connection made
• When you listen to your baby, baby cooperates. Trust builds. This is the foundation for your entire relationship
• NOEL babies tend to smile around 4-5 weeks. Less engaged babies: closer to 8 weeks or 3 months

How to make caregiving developmental

Talk through EVERYTHING

• "I'm going to change your diaper now"
• "I'm going to lift your shirt over your head"
• "This wipe is going to feel cold. Ready? Cold!"
• Language is soaking into baby's brain at a rapid rate, building language pathways
• Helps baby process what's happening and feel safe, not startled

Go SLOW

• It's easy to zone out and rush through diaper changes
• Rushing triggers startle and stress in baby
• Slowing down = baby stays calmer, learns what's coming next
• When baby gets upset during dressing/changing → go SLOWER, not faster

Support baby's feet during changes

• Baby kicks out looking for a boundary (like in the womb)
• Meet them with your hand or your leg. Gently bring feet up like they were curled in the womb
• This reduces crying and stress during diaper changes

Make eye contact

• Your face is their favorite thing in the world
• Put the phone down during wake windows
• Some days you'll zone out ~ that's okay. But when baby is awake, try to be present

Use diaper changes for tummy time

• Baby is already laid out ~ perfect opportunity
• After the diaper change, instead of picking baby up and putting them in a swing, roll them to their tummy for even a few seconds
• By baby #3, Jenny was doing diaper changes on the floor for exactly this reason

A real-time example from the course

Jenny says "it's gonna be cold, ready? Cold!" before using the wipe. Knox startles to the cold temperature but doesn't cry because:

• He was told what was coming (language)
• It wasn't fast/jarring (slow pace)
• His brain made the connection in real time: "that wipe felt cold but I was still okay"
• Reassured through voice and low stress level

Compare this to a rushed, silent diaper change where cold wipe hits skin without warning → startle, cry, stress for everyone.

The basics

• During diaper changes (baby's already laid out ~ perfect time)
• Anytime baby is awake and content (quiet alert state: eyes looking around, not fussy)
• On a soft padded surface or mat
• No pressure on duration ~ 5 seconds counts. Every little bit builds connections
• If baby fusses, stop. Try again next time. Newborns are completely unpredictable
• These work from day one through the whole first 3 months and beyond
• Don't feel pressure to do them perfectly or a certain number of times
• Can be done on the mat, outside, on your bed
• During the first 3 months, it only takes a little stimulation to go a long way because the learning curve is so steep

1. 🔄 Newborn Floor Roll

When: Diaper changes, anytime baby is laid out and content

Why: Activates body awareness, turns on balance systems, promotes coordination

How:

• Start with baby on their back
• Gently roll at the hips, slowly to one side
• Pause in side-lying if they need a moment
• Continue over to tummy if they're tolerating it
• Roll back the other way
• Get eye-level with them and talk through what you're doing ~ this is key
• Go SLOW. Let them process each position change
• If baby fusses in 5 seconds, that's fine. It's not about duration. Every little bit builds

2. 🤱 Skin-to-Skin (Boost Version)

When: As much as possible. After feeds, during naps, when fussy, when baby or you are sick

Why it's a "boost":

• Temperature regulation between two living organs (skin is the largest organ)
• Increases dopamine and oxytocin production
• Powerful for postpartum depression
• Healing for NICU babies who had separation
• If baby gets a chest cold or congestion, skin-to-skin is therapeutic
• Dad can do it on his chest too
• Use well past the newborn stage ~ even past one year when they're sick

3. 🌿 Nature Time

When: Early morning sun is best. Also anytime baby is fussy (instant reset)

How:

• Open the door, step outside. Doesn't have to be a big production
• Baby wear outside, sit on the porch, go for a walk
• If you're comfortable in the temperature, baby is too
• In cooler temps: keep baby skin-to-skin under your sweater. Your body regulates their temperature

Why:

• Sets circadian rhythms ~ natural light establishes day/night sleep patterns
• Soothes the nervous system (nature touches all senses at once)
• Reduces bilirubin (jaundice) ~ sunlight helps clear the yellowing of eyes/skin in breastfed babies. Frequent nursing + sunlight = best treatment
• Resets fussy babies AND overwhelmed moms
• Babies can go outside from day one. They will NOT catch sick from going outside
• Babies were meant to develop outside. Houses are four walls and fake lights

4. ✖️ Brain Cross

When: Diaper changes, on your lap, while sitting (once they have head control). One of the most powerful brain boosts.

How:

• Gently touch baby's left hand to their right foot
• Hold for a moment, then release
• Repeat ~3 times
• Switch: right hand to left foot, ~3 times
• Talk to them while you do it
• Can do on back, on your lap, on the floor, or when sitting with support (older)

Why: Makes connections between the two hemispheres of the brain, getting left and right sides "talking" to each other. Critical foundation for coordination, crawling, and later learning. Use it all through the first year, especially in the pre-crawling stage.

5. 📳 Baby Vibration

When: After diaper changes, when baby wakes up, anytime they're content

What to use: A clean electric toothbrush (soft side) or a gentle baby massager (they recommend the "Call Me Baby" massager for older babies)

How:

• Start at the head, gently work down each arm, the torso, each leg, feet
• Go slowly, watch baby's reaction
• If one side seems less active than the other (e.g., they favor one arm, or drag more with one side), give extra vibration input to the less-used side

Why: Activates body awareness and gives gentle sensory input. Maps every body part in the brain. Helps "wake up" limbs they aren't using as much. You want symmetrical movement ~ equal use of both sides. This helps achieve it.

6. 👀 Rolling with High Contrast Cards

When: Once baby shows interest in looking at objects/faces

What to use: Black and white high contrast cards or strips. Etta Loves sensory strips mentioned specifically.

How:

• Place a high contrast card to one side of baby
• Let them fixate on it
• Slowly help them roll toward it
• Move the card to the other side, help them roll back
• They're tracking visually AND rolling ~ two boosts in one

Why: Combines visual development with movement. Links the eyes to the body. Builds tracking skills that lead to reaching, grasping, and crawling toward things they want.

Wake window expectations

• Newborns stay awake only 30-45 minutes at a time
• This is your magical window for brain-building activities
• It goes: feed → short activity → sleep. That's really it
• Don't feel bored or isolated ~ this short window is the most impactful time in your baby's brain development
• You are not "just surviving" this period. You are doing the most important work

Engaging caregiving reminders

• Talk through EVERYTHING ("I'm changing your diaper now... this is going to feel cold...")
• Go slow ~ rushing triggers startle and stress
• Make eye contact ~ your face is their favorite thing
• Put the phone down during wake windows (still face experiment)
• Use diaper changes for quick tummy time and brain boosts
• Support feet during changes to keep them calm
• Tell baby when you're changing surface or stepping away

When it feels hard

• "I can't set my baby down" → Normal. Baby wants you for 6-8 weeks minimum. Lean into it
• "I can't get anything done" → Screw the dishes. They will get done. You don't need a visitor-ready house. You just had a baby
• "My baby hates tummy time" → Start on your chest. Even 5 seconds counts. Try again next wake window
• Fussy end-of-day crying? → Normal (witching hour). Hold baby in your arms. Try going outside. This peaks at ~6 weeks then improves
• Feeling anxious or overwhelmed? → Strip down, do skin-to-skin. You are literally prescribing yourself and baby exactly what you both need
• Celebrate small wins: a 5-minute break to shower. A 30-second tummy time. A moment of eye contact and a smile. That IS the victory

The mantra

"Nose over toes" position (from the videos)

When holding baby upright, keep them in a "nose over toes" position. This develops forward motion in their body, critical for coming milestones of crawling and walking. You'll see this mentioned in the brain boost demonstrations.

Practical tips they mention throughout

• Remove socks and hats indoors for sensory input (developing toes, feeling surfaces)
• Button-down pajamas and robes for easy breastfeeding access
• When baby fusses, always respond. "Your urgency when baby cries = your natural instincts working correctly"
• When advice conflicts with how you feel → trust yourself. That is the core of the NOEL method
• Join the NOEL Moms Facebook group for support from like-minded moms
• Your postpartum body: you'll sweat through the night, your body odor will be strong, milk will leak. These strong scents are how your baby KNOWS you. "It's like perfume to them"

👩‍⚕️ Key Experts & Methods

📖 Books Mentioned

🔬 Research Studies Cited

🛍️ Products Mentioned

📝 Course extras mentioned

• Product guide with promo codes (~25 pages of recommended products)
• Birth guide for handling labor sensations (non-painful birth techniques)
• Master class: How birth affects baby's development (deep dive)
• NOEL Moms Facebook group for 24/7 coaching and community support
• Newborn coaching group with Jenny's personal mentoring
• Older baby brain boosts (3-4 months+) for continued development
• Thompson Method course for comprehensive breastfeeding support + rescue consults